Pushy

Can a person be like this candy? I think so!



Today we went to Sea World. I was excited but nervous about staying OP.



This is why:

Tonight we are going to a New Year's Eve party and I know there are not going to be that many great choices. The hostess said that she was going to have a cheese, chocolate and even an oil fondue. At least there will be veggies and dip there because I am bringing them. I am also going to bring the Avocado-Bean Guacamole from WW online. I have planned on using my flex-points but I still want to be careful.

I wanted to use as few points as possible during the day so that I can splurge tonight. I knew that there was a huge potential to consume a lot of points at Sea World so I planned ahead and brought a bar and drank a lot of water.

As we were leaving the park we were asked to take a survey. We recieved a coupon for a free soda from the snack bar. We decided to go get it before we left. I was going to get a diet pepsi for us to share but my husband insisted on a rootbeer and I decided that I didn't really need a soda and I would drink the water that I had in the car.

On the way to the car, my husband offered me some of the rootbeer and I declined. He kept asking and I finally called him on it.

"You are being a food pusher!"

He then laid off and we got in the car to head home. As we were leaving the park, he pulled into the McDonalds parking lot and asked if I minded going through the drive-through and we could share something. First, I said sure and then realized that anything that he would order would not be anything that I really wanted to order. I thought about ordering something that I wanted that had a reasonable amount of points. As we were waiting to get up to the menu I decided that was a bad idea and told him that I didn't want anything. After all, I had a party that night.

I am proud of myself for sticking to my plan and not giving in to pushiness and temptation.

After all, as tempting as a push pop is, I don't think it is worth the points.

• I lie the loudest when I lie to myself!

• The only way you will never lose weight is if you stop trying.

What to do with 8 @ 8...

After counting points yesterday and trying to make low point choices, it was 8 p.m. and I had 8 points left. What to do? I went searching the cupboards for something to eat. Unable to decide, I asked my husband if he wanted something. "ICE CREAM" I pulled out the carton on mint chip in the freezer along with my point slider. 4 points for 1/2 cup. For those of you who have served yourself a half a cup after eating 3 times that on a regular basis, it looks pretty scrawny. I did the calculations on 1 cup and it was 7 points. Score. That's how I am finishing off my saily points. I served us both up a bowl of deliciously creamy and cold ice cream. I enjoyed every bit knowing that most days I won't have the surplus of points that I had today. Yeah for being careful and reaping the rewards.

Caught

So when I was runshing around doing my last minute Christmas shopping and frantically searching for a gift for my husband I picked up a couple of candy bars just in case I didn't come up with anything else. I was trying to justify that I had tried. On Christmas morning I tucked the 3 that I had purchased in the tree for him to find that morning. He never siad anything about them so I just asumed that he didn't notice. I tossed one in his lunch one day that week but 3 days after Christmas they were still perched in the tree. I had forgot about them and when I noticed them still there I figured that my husband had never seen them.

I pulled out the Rice Krispie Treat and took a big bite out of it. Knowing that I shouldn't have done that, I folded the wrapper over the bite and tucked it behind the green beans in the cupboard, somewhere my husband would never see it. That bar was calling my name all night long and first thing in the morning, I pulled it out and literally inhaled it. Within 30 minutes, I pulled the twix out of the tree and scarfed the whole thing down. This was only the beginning to a terrible binge that lead me to Weight Watchers.

I had forgotten how the binge had started until last night. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie together and my husband asked me where the Rice Krispie Treat went. I had no where to hide. I had to confess. "I ate it! Sorry!" And then he asked about the Twix.

Me:"I ate that too!"

Him: "What, you ate them both?"

Me: "Yes, I had a total breakdown! That's why I joined Weight Watchers."

He knows that I don't have a lot of control when it comes to food. Even though he knows this, he doesn't understand it. Maybe it is a good thing that he doesn't because him catching me on this binge was embarassing and hopefully embarassing enough that I will truly think about it before I do it again.

Obsessed

So this is day three of Weight Watchers and I have hoped on the scale at least 10 times. I was shocked at the number on the scale at the meeting. It was about 5 lbs higher than I had anticipated. I thought that I knew what to expect because it hasn't been that long since I have been on a scale but I guess all that junk that I have eaten in the last week had to go somewhere. I came home and reweighed myself on my bathroom scale just to make sure that they hadn't made a mistake and the number was higher. I'll take their number.

I am so desparate to have an amazing first week. A lot of people lose between 5 and 10 lbs the first week and I know that I can do the same. I want at least 1 star and 2 would be amazing. I guess only Friday will tell. In the meantime, I think that I need to hide the scale so that I don't drive myself crazy. I will, however, weigh myself before leaving for my meeting on Friday. I don't really like surprises.

Weight Watching

So today I did it! I joined. I have stood on the outside looking in at this group for a long time and finally did it. I jumped in with two feet. This morning I thought that I would peruse the website and think about joining in the new year. I then thought about joining the online community but deep down I knew that I needed the meetings and a leader to keep me accountable. I needed someone to share my weight with that I wouldn't be embarassed to share and have someone that I can share my successes and failures with that won't judge me.

I checked the meeting time and there was one starting in a half an hour and so I decided that it was now or never. I ran upstairs, threw on some clothes, woke up the baby and jumped in the car. I thought about dropping Eva off at a friend's house because I was pretty sure that no one else would have any kids with them. I just hoped that these people would understand that I had to go right then. I didn't have time to drop her off and make it there so I just took her with me. Fortunately, she was fabulous and all the ladies loved her. Thankfully, my friend Kim has agreed to take her every Friday in January so I don't have to take her with me. YEAH! What a lifesaver!

So here I am weight watching. Never thought that I would do it. Always thought I could do it on my own. I was definately wrong there. Now I have support and it is outside of my marriage which is a good thing. (I will blog more about that later.) So I am going in. I'm definately using the door on the left and not exiting until I can come out the door on the right.