The Last Straw

So this story was on a friend's blog:

"After the (WW) meeting there was a new-member Intro, in which the director-in-training who had lost a total of 102 lbs herself (in just 2.5 years) gave each of the new members a little red straw. She told us that it represented the "last straw" for us. She wanted us to try and narrow down or even pinpoint the last straw in our lives. What had finally pushed us over the edge and to the decision to do something about it (and then find weight watchers)."

This go me to thinking, what was my last straw.....

I have blogged about my crazy binge and my all out loss of control but was that the last straw?

I don't think so.

I was watching a comercial for the upcomming Biggest Loser season that is starting tonight. They are doing a couples challenge. One of the ladies was shown saying that she wanted to lose the wight before her kids knew that she was fat.

I felt a pit in my stomach and my eyes started welling up.

THAT'S ME!!!

I don't want my daughter to ever see me as fat!

She is a baby right now and show unconditional love and doesn't care about what I look like but I dread this current path that I am on. I am embarassed of myself and so I am sure at some point she would be embarassed too. That is almost guaranteed. I want to be an active participant in her live and have her excited about that. And sure most kids are mildly embarassed by their parents but I don't want it to be because of my weight.

So that is the last straw. It broke the camel's back. I am committed.

And tonight is the first episode of The Biggest Loser. I think that I am going to tune in for some extra inspiration.